Isdora's feeling better, finally. Knew it was just a little cold, but couldn't help but worry. Been working on her letters with her, I think she's getting them? When she's playing with the slate on her own sometimes she writes letters, don't have to ask her to. She might just be drawing. Been hard to find papers with less than bad news in them to have something new to read to her, but there isn't much.
Mr. Sutter asked me today about driving north. Something about the closest train here ripping him off($3! A head! Our three year olds back when sold for $80 in US, think 120 in pesos? Cattle's cheaper east but that's gotta be close to 1/4 of a yearling's worth, if not all a calf.) He's thinking about either x or y. Don't know why he'd think y's ok? He was some sort of high rank in the union. Worse, Debbie seems excited about it. Considering he asked me to look for some other hands who'd be willing, I think I can convince him x's the better choice. Pay stays $30 a month.
I think Alondra lives somewhere along the way. I'll send them a letter, ask to speak in person. I know they don't want kids, but I don't know how much longer I can trust myself. Woke up a few days ago in the middle of strangling some poor rabbit. Maverick's able to tell the difference still, thank g--. I think they'd be better than sending her back to Mexico City, with the most recent revolution. Doesn't sound good.
I'm going to tell whoever ends up traveling with us. At this point I think it's worth it, having people who can take me out if she steps out of line. As much as it hurts my heart, she can hurt as many small animals as she likes. Less I gotta trap myself, even if it's not a quick kind death for them. But I'm putting all my trust in a horse and some charms. She's a good horse, the best if I'm honest, but it ain't fair to her. Ain't fair to Isa, either, if it needs to happen. Knowing the horse she's loved long as she's alive did that, even if she understands.
I wish I knew if she understood.
Think about what we'll need for long distance. There'll be towns along the way, sure of it, but better safe than sorry. Might be colder either place we're heading (don't think mountains?). Another reason to tell, can't do much about that other than protect her from the wind. Will need more wax if that
Maverick's been amazing as always. Don't think I've seen her happier. She hardly ever snaps at me when I'm me lately, almost like before I came back. Debbie has no end of complaints.
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